Saturday, July 20, 2013

For in your brokenness stars are born

I am always honored – and awed – when someone reaches out to me who is falling apart, drowning in the dark night, or in the midst of spiritual emergency. For some reason, this seems to be part of my strange karmic world: deeper and deeper into the darkness, offering a hand to hold, opening a bit of space in which everything can fall apart, where we can see that it was never together to begin with. There is often a sense of hopelessness when we realize things will never likely be put back together again, until it is realized that it was never your “togetherness” that you really wanted, for something much more majestic is being offered. Love comes heralding the end of the old and the birth of the new, and calls out in a thunderous silence: break open, resist the temptation to mend yourself, for you are whole. Your vulnerability is your gift to the world.

While the narrative is always unique, the plea is always one: where has the grace gone? It was there, but now it has been removed. I was awakened, but now something else is moving through. I was joyful, happy, blissful, in a “high” state of consciousness; everything was going so well – he loved me so much, she was always there for me, God was listening so carefully, I thought I’d work here forever, but I was so healthy… but something unexpected has appeared. Love has turned up in a way we’d never expect; it has arrived on the scene and cannot help but transform *everything* it touches, for that is its nature: everything you thought you knew, everything you were taught, everything you thought you were, everything you thought about relationships. Nothing remains outside the fiery flames of love.  

Forget your fantasies of resolution, invulnerability, and your great self-tales of awakening, love pleads with you. Sadness, anxiety, broken-openness, conflict, problems, fear, the messy sticky gooey world of ego and intimacy and the body – these are my ways of reaching you; do not shut me out. Let me have you. Take a swan dive into the darkness and see what is beyond light and dark. Love is creating a revolution in the hearts and bodies of my dear friends… what to say? I love my friends too much to replace their narrative with yet another, especially a spiritually oriented fantasy or fairy tale (which are so popular these days). I love you too much to try to put you back together again. For in your brokenness stars are born.