Thursday, April 18, 2013

A tiny sliver of love...

Sometimes it can be so overwhelming, really, to let it all the way in that one more day has been given, the implications of that, to take just a moment and be touched by that, one more chance to be illuminated by love. To take a walk on a Thursday afternoon, with the spring and the winter still in dialogue about who will take it from here. It is so clear that I know nothing at all, that I have no idea what the beloved wants from me, until she whispers it to me through the birds, through the new flowers, through the sun, through the crying little one across the street who wants to be held, through the dripping icicles.

I feel so unbearably lucky to have this body, a gratitude that I can’t really understand, so much undeserved grace in this life, that breath is coming at least for now, and to know that at any moment the return may begin, the return Home. But for now this life is a book of love, with so many sweet pages that open for me so often, I’ve been given so much. So many precious open courageous humble honest genuine people who share their hearts so deeply with me, who for some crazy reason open themselves with me, who allow me to walk into the darkness with them, to travel into their hearts with them, to wade through the messy yucky gummy sticky gooey ultimately unresolvable sweetness that is this life. 

It is unbelievable, really, to see the ways that love will make use of any and all form to show us something new and precious about itself. How to respond when love is pouring out of the cracks of the sidewalk, out of the cracks of this heart, out of the rusty pig on the front porch, out of the sweetest ever blue sky? It is clear that I really know nothing, other than this love and this broken open heart, raw and tender and unprotected from love and her movement into the unknown. I really hope to make it all the way through today, and to see what might be shown tomorrow, but if not, for now I am left only with an unexplainable, raging gratitude for this chance, for this human life, to have be shown even a tiny sliver of love.