Saturday, March 23, 2013

The dripping stardust of grace as it pours out of the center of your heart...

We often forget that the journey of opening the heart is counter-instinctual and may never actually feel good. If we want to awaken, especially in an embodied and integrated way, we will be asked to turn toward all of the scary and unresolved places within, exposing ourselves to the terror of how vulnerable this life really is. We see so clearly that there are so many ways for us to be broken open.

We forget that our repressive capacities were put in place to protect us from overwhelm, from the unbearable experience of not being loved as we are, and from not feeling safe and held as our little brains and nervous systems were developing. When we set aside our defensive organization and embark upon the path of love, we intuitively know that we will have to feel each and every feeling that we have been avoiding, each sensation that has become stuck in our bodies and our cellular structure, each previously unmetabolized thought, emotion, and image. But layer by layer we tunnel down into the mysteries of the heart, watching in awe as love removes the armor that has gathered, the ways we have learned to protect ourselves, the ways that we have been able to hide from this life and from intimacy. We know we will need extra grace. We fall to our knees, touch this precious earth, and call for help, each in our own unique ways.

This heart, these eyes, these hands, the way we speak, our sexuality, our love for this world - this entire somatic reality – these are true miracles. They have been assembled cell by cell by the same master architect who created the planets, the galaxies, the oceans, and the sweet moon above. This entire human experience was created out of fragments of love, and out of the dripping stardust of grace as it pours throughout the evening sky, showering this sweetest of ever planets with utter unbearable sacredness. This life is often so challenging, it is never easy when we allow ourselves to be this exposed, to be so naked, to be willing to be so touched by those around us and all of the colors and sights and sounds and heartbreak. But we allow love to disassemble us, to polish the heart into eternity, over and over and over and over, setting aside all of our images about ourselves and this world, never really knowing where love will lead us. But always in awe of its movement, its intelligence, its raging creativity, and its fierce-sweet grace.