Friday, March 8, 2013

Allow yourself to fall apart

If we want to know the mysteries of love more than anything, to allow the beloved to reorganize this life around her precious touch, we will never be able to hold it all together. In the realm of love there is no ground, no safety, no security, no place to rest – we will always be called deeper, as the polishing of the heart is endless into eternity. We will never have a day off, when we can close our heart to another, safe from the raging fires of love and the heartbreak and tender exposure that is imminent around every corner. We are called more deeply into this raging human sensual world, into deeper intimacy with everyone and everything, allowing it all to matter so much. We will risk the heart breaking in each and every moment. We will be asked to throw even our most sacred fables of awakening into the furnace of love, and return them to the beloved where they can be recycled into more grace. 

It is okay, friends, to allow yourself to fall apart. No need to resist this any longer; for you were never together to begin with. Love can never be contained or limited or resolved, or pinned down as fuel to use for our spiritual identity projects. Fall apart and never put yourself back together again – and see what is forever and into eternity untouched by concepts of “together” and “apart.” 

It’s okay to be broken, for in your brokenness love can then pour through the cracks of your being as the most luminous transformative light. You watch in awe as such intelligence and creativity pours through the cells of your heart, through the strands of your DNA, through the ways you touch another and speak sweetly to them, through all of your broken open places, scattering its essence throughout this world. Somehow then, this life is then no longer organized around getting more for me – more love, more awakening, more spiritual experiences, more “no self,” more “divine” this and that, more grace, more peace, more god. Rather, this body, these miracle-senses become the most luminous vehicles for the beloved to move through as she must, pouring the most unfathomable grace throughout this world.