Sunday, February 3, 2013

The only way out is through…

Sometimes we forget that when we somehow make the crazy choice to organize our lives around the movement of love that *everything* that is unresolved within us will respond to this as the invitation of a lifetime. The long lost orphaned pieces of our precious hearts, our psyches, our bodies know that finally they will be met, they will be held, touched, and cared for. As fools of love, we enter that dimension of experience where there is no longer any history - no causation, no strategies, no ground, no certainties, no resting places – where everything we thought we knew about life and the spiritual journey, and about intimacy and relationships, is burned up in the shimmering crucible of love’s transformative nature. 

We realize at the deepest somatic levels that the only way out is through. We start to see just how counter-instinctual the journey really is. We are taken into the innermost chamber of the heart and introduced to every aspect of ourselves we have turned from, shown how each is a unique somatic-energetic expression that has something very important to show us about the true nature of love. Nothing is excluded. *Everything* is welcome here. We begin to feel a tinge of sadness, a certain kind of aloneness; but one that is very alive; it is a raging sadness, a luminous aloneness. Our hearts are no longer ours in a certain way; we know now that they belong to love.  
Yes, the only way out is through, we know this. And what is revealed is that the doorway through into love requires the most radical kindness, that we will never know the mysteries of love without somehow finding a way to create for ourselves a holding environment of kindness. We must make a commitment like we have never been asked to make, the most demanding request that could ever be asked of us: that no matter what, we will hold our precious, immediate, embodied experience in a field of kindness. We see so clearly the ways we are unkind and aggressive to our experience, judging ourselves for not being perfect, for being unspiritual, or otherwise failing. And we take that sacred pause, look up into the night sky or into the eyes of a little baby or into the mirror in the bathroom… and we know that something is orchestrating this life that is far, far beyond our capacity to understand.

And out of this holding environment of kindness we start to behold the mystery of love  as it reorganizes everything – as it reorders this mind, this body, these words, the way we touch another, and the very cells of this precious heart. And even though we know love will demand everything from us, that we will never really be given time off or a vacation or really be able to close our heart to another, we find ourselves at rest, in absolute awe at this human experience, this body and these miracle senses, held by love and touched by its sweetness forever.