Monday, February 11, 2013

That love which keeps the stars from falling out of the sky…

How willing are we to go deeply into the lived experience of those we love, of those we care for, of those who reach out to us for help, of those who irritate us and push up against that which is unresolved within, of those who deeply disagree with us? Will we wade into the dark empty abyss with a depressed friend, a grieving mother, an abandoned partner, an elderly man filled with tears who is finished with life and calls out for his long-departed wife as his only hope? It is so natural for us to want to help others, especially when they are suffering, hurt, confused, or experiencing profound sadness. Can we resist the temptation to fix them, to transform them, to heal them, even, for just a moment? Can we walk with them into the raging fire that is their embodied immediate experience, exactly as it has been given as an offering to them? Somehow, by some wild, unknown grace, we enter into that secret chamber inside the heart which holds us both. The intelligence and the creativity there is overwhelming. We are in awe. 

When we share in this illumined field with another – when we remain simultaneously vulnerable and utterly grounded in the somatic-sensory flow of grace that is present – we come to see that the other only wishes to have their experience validated, to have it fully held by another, exactly as it is, without the slightest movement to change, transform, or heal it. They wish to finally be met, to be known so nakedly, so intimately, to be beheld as an authentic, unique, sacred person in their own right, rather than someone who is “depressed” or “anxious” or “fearful” or “lost in their ego”, who has fallen apart, who is experiencing trauma, or who is insane. We can hold their hand and go directly into the darkness with them, willing for our hearts to be shattered and put back together. We can allow the other to matter so much we cry deeply with them, we join them in their sadness, we get on their side, we do whatever we can so when they look into our eyes they feel us fully with them. Perhaps for the first time, they are actually seen by another human being, the way they organize their experience is held, the way they make meaning of their life is contacted and shared. 

And somehow through this meeting, which is orchestrated by that same intelligence that keeps the stars and the planets and the moon from falling out of the sky, their experience is metabolized; we’re both left with an unfathomable awe at the preciousness of this grace field that is this human body, these human senses. For a moment, there is no time, no space, no healing, no self, no other; we rest together and behold the healing particles of love as they pour forth, interweaving between two hearts, touching us in the most human way, unlocking the secrets of love which are buried in the cells and DNA of this grace body. We know so clearly that it is not us who can offer the power and grace of healing, of transformation, but it is that Great Other which takes over this life when we are willing for everything to fall apart, to no longer think that we can or need to hold it together. And then all that is left is that awe, and we look up into the night sky and this one and only Milky Way and are filled with gratitude, not really able to understand how lucky we are.