It is so natural that we want to get to a place where we’ll never have to feel any of the yuckies of this life – no conflict, no worry, no anxiety, no suffering, no pain, no heartache, no heartbreak. The great fable of the “me” that will one day be “awakened” of course meets this very organic longing and fits like a glove. Yes, finally, I have made it, I am safe and protected by the evil yuckies forever. I can rest. I am home… finally.
But this has nothing to do with love. This is a spirituality of fear. It is so easy for our relationship with the spiritual life to become organized, often in subtle and unconscious ways, around not having to feel, or making us feel better. We want so badly to be seen by those around us as “awakened” and special. It is so sweet in a sense. Many of us grew up in an environment where we weren’t seen for the sweet and special and unique little ones that we were – and this misattunement left imprints on our precious hearts and throughout our tender nervous systems.
But, friends, who and what you are is the most unique, special, one-of-a-kind expression of a raging, burning grace, exactly as you are. Love cares not for this hyped up quest for “awakening” or for you to concoct stories about yourself, about how you have “no self,” about how you’ll never experience any yuckies again and all the rest of it. Love wishes for you to experience everything, for it is infinite and eternal. What you are is love. Each cell of your precious body, each beat of your heart, each strand of your DNA, each word that you say that is kind to another, these are all made of love. This reality is here for you to behold, right now.
From here it is one endless miracle, moment by moment, and utter wonder as to how love will make use of this body – these eyes to see, these hands to so sweetly touch those around us, these words to speak kindness, and this broken open heart to feel utterly everything.