Friday, January 18, 2013

Special forms of grace, sent here from beyond to show us something very important about the nature of love...

So much of our spiritual lives have become about getting into some state or reality where we remain untouched by life and those qualities and experiences which repel us. It is so natural to want to be in a place where we remain forever untouched by suffering, fear, conflict, and separation. But have we stopped to consider that these phenomena may actually be special forms of grace, sent here from beyond to show us something very important about the nature of love? And by “getting rid of them” that we will never touch their beauty, know their sacred mysteries, and receive their excruciating blessings? Perhaps our shame, our scary parts, our feelings of separation, our anxiety, our depression, our loneliness, the conflict within, the “ego” – perhaps these are not as they appear. Perhaps we are not actually being asked to go to spiritual war with these energies, but rather to embrace the possibility that they are in fact gifts functioning as portals into love. 

All this effort to become different, to transcend this life, to become some sort of “divine” being, to become awakened, enlightened, self-realized, god-realized, beyond the beyond, untouchable and free from conflict forever into eternity. Underneath this spiritual scramble to be seen, to be free of the yuckies forever, that longing to return Home and rest there into eternity… a new call emerges… a raging, thunderous call emanating out of the center of your being. 

Let your hearts break open friends, take the risk that love demands. Be willing to feel everything. Gone are the days of exclusion, for love is infinite, eternal, empty, wide open; it is the luminous ground from which all of love’s expressions come pouring forth. It is the substance of the very cells which make up your one sweet heart; of each sacred synapse in your magnificent brain; and the light weaving through each strand of your DNA. In this love nothing is excluded, not even conflict, fear, the “ego”, the “self,” the “personality,” nothing. All is welcome here. All are doorways of grace. All is God. Let us be grateful for every thought, every feeling, every emotion, every image, every sensation that grace bestows upon us, and open to the radical possibility that each are appearing as love in drag, to show us something very precious. There is no need to wage some cosmic spiritual battle with these parts of ourselves, to take some mythical spiritual journey into that place where you will be untouched forever. Be touched, friends, fully, all the way, care so much that all you ever want is to be touched, to be torn apart by love and its movement. Let it all in, let love use whatever it must to show you its sweetness, to break open your heart and deliver upon you the mysteries of its qualities and fragrances. 

Whatever love wishes to give to you in this day – be it fear, conflict, ego, separation, confusion, meaninglessness, anxiety, panic – receive it as the gift that it is. Be so curious, be so in love with the offering that is this life that you just move closer, you want to know so badly all that this precious human experience can show you. You lose all interest in having this experience instead of that, this feeling instead of that one, being spiritual or non-spiritual, for you see this as a way of dishonoring this most sacred rare human life. Hear the cry of love emanating out of the center of your heart: Closer, closer, closer, more intimate, more embracing… see through the spiritual call of fear to transcend this tangled up, messy, unresolvable, groundless, sticky, gummy gooey grace field that is this human life. 

To do this of course requires that we risk everything that is known, everything we’ve been taught, including risking the loss of all spiritual reference points and concepts. Are we willing to be so naked? Will we take the risk that love demands? Will we allow ourselves to fall off the cliff of the known into the purifying flames of love’s fires, knowing our hearts will be redesigned and our lives will be reorganized, utterly certain that our spiritual identities will dissolve forever? In this timeless reality, we watch love reassemble this body, this heart, these senses, utterly in awe at its movement, at its intelligence, at its creativity. All that is left is just one prayer, the only one that makes any sense any longer, “Thank you.”