Saturday, January 19, 2013
A raging vulnerability as the gateway into love...
It can be terrifying to let another really matter to us: whether it’s a new lover, our long-time partner, an old friend, an ex-wife or husband, our therapist, our parents, our children, our siblings, a co-worker. There is a part of us that just doesn't want to take that risk - that somehow we won't be met, that our tender hearts will be shattered, we won't be held or seen, that we'll have to feel a sadness or a shame or a level of exposure that might destroy us. And in some way we're right, in giving ourselves to love something will be destroyed; we intuit that in opening in this way we will find ourselves in a raging, unbearable, naked field of utter vulnerability. But is is this vulnerability that is the gateway into love.
Love demands that for just one moment we set aside our fears, our strategies, our transcendent spiritualities, our need for certainty, and our belief that somehow we can resolve this life in any fundamental way. Love is not resolvable, it is never safe, and it is always a movement into the unknown. Let us see clearly the ways we hold back, how we stand aside as the witness of our experience, and subtly guard against the exposure which love requires. Let us somehow allow the other to mean everything; to somehow be willing to remain unbearably exposed, utterly naked on the ground in tatters inside the cells of the beloved one, however she appears, in whatever form she takes. For it is in that moment we realize that love has absolutely nothing to offer, except for everything we could ever, ever want.
Photo credit: Maroon Bells near Aspen, Kevin McNeal -